“Nothing is permanent except change” – Heraclitus
I know a lot of women feel that they are judged for leaving or going out on their own, what will the family say, their friends, people at work, and how will it be? So many unknowns. The inquisitive mind automatically goes into overdrive thinking and asking about whose fault it was, and what really happened, always looking to blame someone. When you try and try again and then you keep making excuses for the predicament that you are in, you finally come to the crossroads where you have to make a choice. A lot of women choose not to make a choice and those that do have to pull up their big panties and slog it out to fight for what seems to be a battle to be happy or safe or just at peace. For those that stay, they choose to suffer, some maybe in silence. When applying the notion that we are all responsible for ourselves we quickly learn that you can’t change someone. If this were the case they would have been well adjusted and we would be running alongside each other as our greatest supporters in this journey of life.
When I realised that this was not the case for me I had to take action. I knew that it would be hard but the need to liberate myself was greater. The immense responsibility we both had financially and towards each other and the family was not mutually shared and when this hit me in the face it just made sense that something had to change. How long was I to stay in a situation that was disconnected? I didn’t want to be the mum to another child, an adult male who just did not understand what responsibility meant. I knew that I had to save myself and my children from learning these unhealthy habits and ways. I had a parental responsibility to demonstrate hard work, and prove that consistent effort leads to rewards. I have continued to live this way and continue investing in myself and sharing the journey with my children.
We, the children and I, often discuss the challenges that life presents and the ways to navigate them even though they are yet to experience life at that depth, however, the point I’m making is that conversations about real-life issues demonstrate to children that at all stages in life you have to be responsible for your own actions and that due diligence is the baseline to making decisions and its ok to ask questions. Even if it’s a simple online purchase.
When embarking on my new journey and investing further into my own self I came across a powerful quote that has been my driving force. I think at first people were confused about it when it appeared on my socials but for me it made it ok to keep moving and gave me strength. Initially I was confused by it and I allowed it to sink in. I had it stuck to my monitor and would read it everyday and allow my thoughts to run away with it. As I revisited it everyday for hours on end, things started to happen. The universe opened and this became more evident as my jobs changed and I started to say yes to opportunities. Since then, I have moved house 6 times and that’s ok, we have had wonderful memories everywhere and we often talk about them and laugh as we remember something.
Now I am in a home that serves me a purpose and provides me with so much peace as I look out the window at the forest across the road and the occasional deer that comes in search of fresh grasses. For those of us who feel displaced by these moves, I say you need to take the opportunity to dump the junk and make new connections get out of your comfort zone, and embrace life. I have no regrets.
I came across this quote whilst studying one night and it hit me so hard that it has been on my bio since roughly 2014. “Nothing is permanent except change” – Heraclitus; and I hear myself repeating it and can’t wait for the next adventure, it excites me.